Текст песни:

[eminem]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real slim shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up?
Were gonna have a problem here..

Yall act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like pam, like tommy just burst in the
door
And started whoopin her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (ahh)
Its the return of the... "ah, wait, no way, youre
kidding,
He didnt just say what I think he did, did he? "
And dr. dre said... nothing you idiots
Dr. dres dead, hes locked in my basement (ha-ha)
Feminist women love eminem *vocal turntable
Chigga chigga chigga* "slim shady, Im sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "yeah, but hes so cute
though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than whats goin on in your parents bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on tv and just let loose, but cant
But its cool for tom green to hump a dead moose
"my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if Im lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And thats the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a womans clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the discovery channel dont they?
"we aint nothing but mammals.." well, some of us
cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes *slurp*
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then theres no reason that a man and another man cant
elope
*ewww* but if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus eminem (repeat 2x)

Im slim shady, yes Im the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So wont the real slim shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

[eminem]
Will smith dont gotta cuss in his raps to sell his
records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damn about a grammy?
Half of you critics cant even stomach me, let alone stand
me
"but slim, what if you win, wouldnt it be weird?
"
Why? so you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to britney spears?
Shit, christina aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to carson daly and fred durst
And hear em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on mtv
"yeah, hes cute, but I think hes married to kim,
hee-hee"
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave eminem vd *ahhh*
Im sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is
annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you *bzzzt*
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me who just dont give a fuck like me
Who dress like me walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me

Chorus

[eminem]
Im like a head trip to listen to, cause Im only givin you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living
room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of yall and I dont gotta be false or sugarcoated
at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it *err* I just shit it
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like
valiums
Its funny cause at the rate Im goin when Im thirty
Ill be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when Im jackin off with jergens
And Im jerkin but this whole bag of viagra isnt working
And every single person is a slim shady lurkin
He could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion
rings
*hach* or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "i dont give a fuck"
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus 2x

[eminem]
Ha ha
Guess theres a slim shady in all of us
Fuck it, lets all stand up